Posts Tagged ‘Pretender’

Good deeds.

I like a woman who can treat the globes right

A little bit about me.

It may or may not surprise some of you to know that I have a life beyond this hooker fucking persona. And it may (or may not) surprise you to find out that I’m in the legal profession. Sure, you pretty much can’t throw a stick around here without hitting a lawyer (and getting sued for reckless stick throwing).

Some background. I got my undergraduate degree at a well known top tier university in the southeast, then a Juris Doctor from a prestigious law school on the east coast. I went to work in the office of a state legislator then spent some time working as a criminal prosecutor in a large city on the coast. It was through some of my law school contacts and legislative contacts that I became involved early on in campaigning for Bill Clinton. Back then, a lot of people in the campaign, specially those who knew Bill and Hillary, joked that the wrong Clinton was running.

As a result and reward for my work on the campaign, when Bill Clinton was elected, I was swept along as part of the new ‘youth wave’ hitting Washington, D.C. Of course, “youth” was a relative term, as none of us were really kids. I worked briefly for Bernard Nussbaum in the  office of the White House Counsel, then transitioned over to the Justice Department. Working for the Clinton administration in the DOJ, I was a key part of some very high profile prosecutions.

By the end of Clinton’s first term, I’d had quite enough of Washington, and left the DOJ to come back to Los Angeles. Here, I joined a large firm, and this being L.A. a fair percentage of my clients were movie people. It wasn’t where I intended to end up back when I was an idealistic young law student out to change the world for the better, but I’ve settled into a nice little practice in entertainment law, mostly contracts and negotiations.

Of course, none of that is true*. And if you read just those first four paragraphs –and believed them– and took legal advice from me because you believed them, you would be an idiot. My legal advice isn’t going to keep you out of jail, my legal advice isn’t going to get you out of jail, my legal advice isn’t going to keep you safe in any way. Just because I can create a detailed fiction on the Internet doesn’t mean I can represent you in court. Because I am not a real lawyer**.

You wouldn’t — shouldn’t– take legal advice from Some Guy on the Internet claiming legal know-how without the credentials to back it up.  So why then would you take advice from someone claiming to be an escort, claiming to be a stripper, claiming to be a porn star or activist or sexologist without the credentials — and the credibility– to back up those claims?

We all know, it’s pretty well documented, that there are a lot of fakes out there. Even after all the revelations and recriminations, just a few days ago, once again someone with no verifiable credentials was offering advice on how to successfully increase your escorting business and how to safely hire an escort. Hey, why not? You’ll take legal advice from me, why not take escorting advice from a non-entity?

So, who can you trust?

Just as you’d do your homework when looking to hire an accountant, a doctor or a mechanic, you have to do your homework when looking for advice that’s going to keep you out of jail, keep you from being ripped off, keep you from being assaulted. There is a treasure trove of valuable, reliable information on the hooker/”hobbyist” interaction. There are quite a few sex workers out there who have selflessly given of themselves to make things better for others in the biz. They give of their bodies for their clients; they give of their time, effort and hearts to keep other sex workers safe.

First up, if you’re an escort, a real honest-to-goodness legitimate working escort and you need to know anything about how to operate or improve your business, you need look no further than Amanda Brooks and her Internet Escort’s Handbook. This is the resource on the business of escort work. Amanda Brooks has been out in front of the business side of escorting and offers serious, yet bawdy advice on how to run your sex-oriented small business successfully.

I can’t think of anyone who’s been more on the side of sex workers of all stripes, but specifically hookers than Jenny DeMilo. Jenny seems to go out of her way to make sure dirty girls are safe and treated with respect. Whether it’s offering insight into what it’s like to be a hooker or how to stay safe if you are one, Jenny is the go-to source. On her blog and on various message boards, Jenny offers information on almost any topic imaginable related to sex work. She’s often brash, sometimes vulgar, always informative. Jenny doesn’t suffer fools gladly, but it’s a tough business, not for the frail or easily offended. Jenny DeMilo takes the hits, frequently becoming the target of attacks, and she does it because she really believes in giving back to her community, looking out for her friends and that only armed with knowledge can one overcome a dangerous world. And she’s sexy as hell to boot.

Another powerful advocate for sex workers is the Chicago based Serpent Libertine and her Red Light District. The Red Light District/Chicago website reports on legal issues and sex worker rights advocacy. Armed with a video camera and an incisive sense of what’s right they are on the frontlines of the sex work industry. Serpent Libertine is an invaluable supporter of free speech and sex workers’ legal rights.

How many real live sex workers do you know who recently spoke at Brown University on sex work: culture laws & politics? The only one that comes to mind is Sequoia Redd. Sequoia gives of herself to better the lives of sex workers. In addition to sex worker advocacy, she writes about sexual energy, politics and hiking the Appalachian Trail. That last one isn’t some sort of Republican euphemism, she really hiked the Appalachian Trail.

For sex workers of a different sort — strippers– the inimitable Kat from Portland has your back.  Kat looks out for strippers and more. Like so many others, she realizes the interconnectedness of everyone involved in legal, quasi-legal and downright illegal sex work. Strip clubs may have bouncers, but outside the club all bets are off.

While others only pretend to be sex experts, educators or academics, Jessi Fischer at The Sexademic is the real deal. Anyone on the Internet can hide behind a sassy screen name and claim degrees and titles, but Jessi is out in the open, no obfuscation, no pretense. With a Masters in Sexuality Studies, The Sexademic is a real, by-gosh educator, not just someone trying to bolster false credentials.

There are more, much more, many more. What all of these people have in common is that they are real, they are in the field and they are looking out for you. They are every day taking the hard fought, hard won skills, knowledge and experience of the real world of sex work and laying it out on the line for you, the “hobbyist”, the escort, the newbie just dipping a toe in the dirty waters. Why do they do it? I’m sure if you asked any of them you’d get a variety of reasons. But the bottom line, I think is that they are people who think of others as they think of themselves.

As for me, no I’m not a lawyer**. And maybe I’m not really a Doctor, either. Maybe it’s just an honorary title. No, I’m just a guy who fucks hookers and writes about it on the Internet. Sure, I’ll give you advice on how to find ’em, what to do when you’ve found ’em and how not to get caught while you’re doing it. But if you do or don’t take my advice, no harm, no foul. I don’t know you, you don’t know me, you’re free to take my advice or not and you won’t hurt my feelings either way. Sure, if you don’t take my advice and your wife catches you balls deep in some rented pussy, you’ll earn a big-ass “I told you so” from me. I’ll call you a dumbass. But then again, if you weren’t a dumbass you wouldn’t have done some dumbass thing to get yourself caught. But that’s the extent of it. You’re on your own as far as I’m concerned. But if you’re an escort, stripper, or any other flavor of sex worker, you need to know who you can trust. You need to know because your freedom, your safety,your business and possibly your life may depend on it. Are you going to trust all of that to ‘Some Girl’ with a blog? If you want real information, real advice, real education, look at those links above.

They’re the real deal. Verifiable, reviewed, respected.

* Or is it?

**Or am I?

Deja vu.

Here we go again...

I’ve had this conversation before.

As I sit around with my other evil genius pals, planning out how to take over the “hobbyist” world, this scenario plays out over and over again. How to gain access. How to infiltrate. How to get in unnoticed. If, say, one was a reporter, a cop or just someone looking to manipulate the system, how do you get your foot in the door? Most of the escort message boards and online forums have layers of built in security. But as any Bond villain will tell tell you, it’s the simplest plans that work best. And, as any Bond villain also knows, the girl is always the key.

For whatever nefarious purposes, you’re trying to create a Trojan Horse persona to grant you access to the inner circles of the hobbyist/escort community. Well, any guy can call himself a hobbyist, but if you don’t have any well established escorts vouching for you, you’re left out in the cold. The answer then, is obvious. You need a girl. You become a girl.

From the early days of the cyber sex chat rooms, perverts everywhere have known this. The girl is the key. You can pretend to be a brain surgeon astronaut spy all day long, but no one’s gonna bite. But as soon as a girl enters the room, she’s swarmed. You didn’t really think all those hot horny lonely girls online were really hot horny lonely girls, did you?

For the purposes of manipulating the escort forums, how does one ‘become a girl’? First step, set up a website. Make sure to give yourself a sexy name. Pictures will help. You can find those pretty much anywhere. If you’re willing to steal somebody else’s pics, that is. But, hey, you’ve come this far, what do you care about stealing some ho’s content? You join the forums under your sexy new name. Participate a bit, drive traffic to your new website/blog. Make sure to talk — a lot– about how hot horny lonely sexy slutty you are. The sluttier the better. You’ll get lots of interest from the “hobbyists.” That is, after all what they’re there for. Sooner or later, they’ll be clamoring to see you. They can’t, of course, unless y’all are dying to try out some sort of “Crying Game” scenario. But that’s not a problem, because you have no intention of actually seeing anyone.  You’re exclusive. You’re all booked up. You’re much too hot and sexy to see just anyone.  And you certainly aren’t going to lower your standards for them.

The forums are mostly geared to screen out the guys. There are many reasons for the lopsided prejudice. Cops are men, rapists are men, pimps are men. And that last one actually probably has more to do with the increased vigilance of men. The ever-on-alert board mods are looking, not for the potential danger, but for the fake review. Because that’s what matters to them. Remember that. To be fair, a lot of escorts have been known to attempt to create fake “hobbyists” in order to write themselves a glowing review. What no one seems to be on the lookout for, however, is the fake “escort” vouching for… well, “herself.”

Everyone gets splattered

The shit finally hits the fan.

We’ve been going ’round and ’round about this for a while now, haven’t we? For the better part of a year, escorts, strippers, cam girls, models, bloggers, and journalists have been saying “something’s wrong.”
By then, though, the masquerade had become so real to some that every alert raised, every warning shouted, every veil lifted was met with cries of: “you’re just jealous.”
Yeah, jealousy. That’s why wave after wave after wave of real, verifiable sex workers and their advocates were saying “something’s wrong.”
What’s just as telling as who did raise a red flag is who didn’t.
There’s the usual assortment of sycophants, those who invested so much in believing the lie that they couldn’t bear to let go of their own fantasies. There are those who saw the evidence of deception and basically shrugged their shoulders and said “so what?” Then there are those who knew, who were aware that people were being lied to, that someone was manipulating the system, that people were being put in danger… and did nothing. Worse than doing nothing, some of them reveled, delighted in the possibility that harm may befall someone, even if only as collateral damage from the scandal. But that’s to be expected from the sort of community culture that treats women as door prizes.
Make no mistake, people knew. The one thing every villain needs is accomplices, co-conspirators.
But as an evil genius, you’re smart enough to not let your fake girl make the only unforgivable mistake: writing a fake review.
The lip service, the party line, the public policy is that the message/review/social networking forums exist to make everyone safe. The reality is that the only important thing is the valid review. Real women being put at risk barely raises a blip on their radar. Fake reviews on the other hand, that’s a hanging offense, on par only with being an uppity, outspoken female.

I’ve been asked a lot in the last few days about what I knew and when I knew it. Having been one of those who wrote, repeatedly, about the dangers presented by impostors, and having had some access to ‘insider’ sources. I know that there were people in a position to know that a certain online persona was a fake, a faux, a fabrication. But they were more interested in maintaing the fraudulent female than protecting the real ones. Because the presence of the hot horny slutty girl, willing to take on all comers, no matter how fallacious, was more beneficial to to their bottom line than exposing the con. Because if the highest profile, most prolific “whore” in their stable is exposed as a figment of some self-styled eroticist’s fevered imagination, then every other review becomes suspect. If you can’t believe that the girl everyone is vouching for is real, then how can you believe that the girl with only one or two or three reviews is real. Of course, the fake girl has no reviews at all; she can’t, she’s not really out there sucking stranger’s dicks for money. And if she only has one review from one guy –who’s only reviewed ‘her’– then the fantasy falls apart.
Over the course of the past year or so, I’ve written about this one particular deception. I’ve also written about others. As I look at the online escort landscape, I see more and more fakes. In light of the recent revelations, when you see an ‘escort’ with no reviews, no pictures, no website, yet pages and pages and pages of salacious stories of their exceedingly slutty exploits… that no one can verify… maybe everything is not as we are expected to believe. Throw in the overt, obvious, almost desperate attempts to cash in with book, TV or movie deals, then all signs point to “faux.”

No, I don’t know “PatBo”. But I do know that he’s not alone.

In among the wolves.

Keeping an eye on you.

As most of you who have blogs or websites know, we can see where the clicks to our sites are coming from.There are stat trackers galore and even the most basic blogging package has a hit counter of some sort. For example, I can see what websites I’m being linked to, I can see what web search terms people are using to stumble upon my little corner of the web.

Yeah, I can see that the most common search term used to direct traffic to the ol’ Hooker Addict is tied in to an essay I wrote some 5-6 months ago. For some reason, the topic refuses to die. I can see that I’m still getting traffic from a comment I posted on another blog months ago. And I guess I should be flattered that people searching for “huge cock” are being directed to me.

And I can see when you guys are talking about me on your message boards.

Because I’m one of you.

That’s right guys. I’m on your message boards, I’m in your private clubs, I’m on the ‘men only’ boards.

I wrote not too long ago about the social horror of the Hooker/Hobbyist Meet & Greet. Social awkwardness coupled with a sense of entitlement is a bad combination. A certain local message/review board linked to my blog on a thread about meet & greets. I could see every time someone clicked that link in that thread. But I didn’t need a stat tracker to tell me I’d been linked. I could read it myself.

And then you guys kicked it up a notch. You moved the discussion to the private men only board. Here, as you so often do, you used the cloak of internet invisibility, not to look inward but to lash out. But you didn’t lash out at me, did you?

I’m watching you. I know all you guys. I’ve partied with you. Hell, I may (or may not) have commented on that thread.

You wonder why I don’t like “hobbyists”? It’s because of that behavior. The venue brings out the worst in you. Some of you I have personally liked, I’ve had drinks with you, or maybe I just had a drink while you drank club soda. But based on your behavior behind closed Internet doors, maybe it’s time you start working the steps again. Maybe make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves again.

What are you saying? Your jacket doesn’t fit right with that knife in your back? Malcontent? Off your meds? What an amusing bon mot, joking about how a certain hooker actually likes being groped! Of course, she also likes doing bareback gangbangs, but you forgot to mention that part.

I’ll keep watching you, I’ll keep writing about you. And I’ll keep waiting for you to revisit Step 9.

Back from the grave.

Evil Never Dies. I guess.

You know how in horror movies, there’s always a moment when the protagonist thinks he’s killed the evil monster, only to have the monster pop up from the dead to attack again?

You think you’ve struck a death blow, only to find that the evil zombie has just been biding it’s time, waiting for the shitstorm to blow over, then it comes back to strike terror again as if nothing had ever happened?

Yeah, it’s kinda like that.

The long tearful farewell.

How can we miss you if you won't go away?

It’s a cliché of every sad, tragic, romantic movie. Tugging at the heartstrings, emotion laid bare.

I… I… just can’t go on. I don’t have it in me to continue. But before I go… tell me how much you’ll miss me.

“Those of you who know me,” they’ll say, “know I don’t do things half-assed.” Who would that be? Who knows you?

It’s becoming more and more common on escort message boards, Twitter and blogs to throw yourself a pity party before you leave. Sometimes it takes days, weeks for someone to leave. And all the while, reveling in the fond remembrances of those who love them… or the voices in their own heads.

It’s like something out of a Garry Marshall movie. “Please don’t go!” “We’ll miss you so!”

You'll miss me, won't you?

Seems like not a week goes by without someone announcing that they’re leaving. No one just leaves. They all have to let you know that they’re leaving and why. And of course you have to give your legions of devoted followers (or sock puppets) ample opportunity to tell you and the world how fabulous you are. “I just don’t have the heart to stand any longer, there will be no more.” However, “I’ll continue seeing my regular clients as long as they wish me to.”

Look, just pull the plug and slink off stage. STFU and GTFO. If ya wanna go, just fuckin’ go. If it takes you a week to craft your thousand word farewell, that’s a whole damn week out of your bright shiny new life wasted.

Boo fuckin' hoo

If it takes a 3 volume novella with 100 comments and a cast of thousands to tell us all about how you have better, more important things to do… well, how ’bout you stop telling us and start doing them. If you have so much free time on your hands that you can come up with seven paragraphs with links and photos about how you’re much too distraught to go on, maybe stepping away from the computer is the best thing for you. Trust me, we’ll find a way to soldier on without you. There are actual hookers out there to fuck.

Don't it just break your heart?

And just so you don’t think I’m being unduly harsh to the dearly departing ladies, let me assure you that guys do this, too. I can’t tell you how many times a ‘hobbyist’ will post all about how he has to leave the board, usually because his wife found out. If only he’d known how not to get caught. Sure, he was stupid enough to get caught, and now he’s going to compound the stupidity by throwing himself a going away party where all the hookers will tell him how much they’ll miss him cuz he was such a great client. Might as well just hand your balls to the divorce lawyers. But they must have their last hurrah. That one last time when they can be the big fish, even if it is in a small local pond. Well, the last time that is, until they come back in a month with a new handle and start all over again.

I have to confess, I was once taken in by the pitiful goodbye. A somewhat well known escort on a previous incarnation of a message board posted that she was leaving, retiring, moving out of town, So long, thanks for all the fish. Like a sucker, I responded. Sorry to see you go, darn the luck, I had hoped to get around to seeing you sometime. Oh well, good luck, good bye. She pounced. Well, she wasn’t gone yet, I could still get in to see her. Why, she’d even give me a discount. Feeling caught, I said yes. She was perfectly fine, a lovely lady, we had a pleasant time. But, really, I probably wouldn’t have seen her if she hadn’t posted that goodbye thread. Since then, she’s moved out of town, moved back, retired, un-retired. And each time with great accompanying fanfare. She’s had more farewell tours than Cher.

It’s remarkably easy to leave. This isn’t the Hotel California. You don’t have to post a thread asking the board admin to delete your account. You don’t have to tell us all about what the future holds. You don’t have to get in that final dig at your detractors. You just have to go.

Buh-bye!

Trust Me

Who do you trust?

Relationships are built on trust. Your kids trust you to teach them. Your friends trust you to be there for them. Your wife trusts you not to go around screwing hookers. Eh, what are ya gonna do?

The concept of “Trust” as applied to the provider/hobbyist milieu is a complicated one. Everyone has a certain level of trust when they knock on that hotel room door for the first time. Is she going to look like her pictures? I’m trusting she will. Is he going to arrest her? She’s trusting he won’t. Is she going to arrest me? Well, at that point, I don’t care what she looks like.

I was reminded of the importance trust recently. First, the whole impostor scandal reminded us all that it’s sometimes easy to get taken in by someone with a gift for fiction. Then there’s something I read on one of those “hobbyist” message boards masquerading as social networking sites.

This site has taken the ‘trust’ concept and escalated it to it’s most ridiculous extreme. In theory, it works like this: Guy sees girl. Everyone has sexy fun time, no one gets arrested (or worse), she goes home a few bucks in the black, he goes home and tries to explain to his wife where his paycheck went. But I digress.

After that pleasurable exchange, they can then each vouch for the other. She can let other providers know he’s trustworthy, he can brag to his online buddies about how many times he made her cum before he popped off for the third time while doing her doggy style. But I digress. So now he’s earned ‘trust.’ Simple. You scratch my back, I cum all over your back. But they couldn’t leave it at that. It’s become a completely different animal. Not content with tit-for-tat, they’ve turned the whole thing into some sort of perverted Dungeons & Dragons. There are Levels, points, arcane rules and algorithms. No longer is it a simple exchange, now you’re graded on karma, judgement, and a whole slew of picayune esoterica. It’s no longer enough to be a safe, clean, civilian guy with cash, now you have to be a Level 2 knight elf with FX points and good karma. It’s like World of Whorecraft.

Low Hangers

Two years ago, there was a serious crime committed. In the dark of a northwestern night, a man lay dead, shot in the back. Like something out of a pulp crime novel, a man’s life was taken, his children left fatherless, in a plot to profit from the property and life insurance policies. The plotters, murderers, sit behind bars. The victim’s estranged wife, mother to the son who witnessed his own father’s brutal murder, has been convicted. Her new lover stands accused as the manipulative mastermind of the murder-for-profit plot. If it weren’t so real, it could be a ripped-from-the-headlines TV movie of the week.

What makes that case relevant is the people involved in the plot. The estranged wife who pulled the trigger – five times- was a well established, well reviewed escort. The man who manipulated her, who brought her to the point where she willingly became a murderer, was… no, IS… a well established, highly trusted member-in-good-standing of that same hobbyist message board. He is to this day a highly trusted Level 4 (out of a possible 5) hobbyist. Sixty-five people on that site have given him their highest rating, and deemed him to be safe, trustworthy, responsible. A real fucking boy scout. Some of those ratings came after his arrest on various drug, weapons and murder charges. And what makes this all even worse is the continuing use of “trust” as currency. There is even now a thread on that board admonishing members to be careful who they assign ‘trust’ to. They say: you can’t be too careful, you could be vouching for a murderer. And yet they have, and continue to do so. A provider is vilified for vouching for a guy who turned out to be a rapist. But they vouch for a guy awaiting trial for his role in a murder. That guy they support and encourage, but a hooker who says something on the Internet that they disagree with they slander and vilify. A guy accused in a murder-for-profit plot they give money to bail out of jail. A hooker they don’t like they offer money to expose.

Trust is the basis of every relationship. And those of us who swim these pussy-filled waters are no different. As hobbyists, part of the allure of the message board is the sense of sharing and community, building friendships with like-minded people, letting them in on something we can’t talk to our families or co-workers about. And we trust them to keep those secrets safe because they have the same secret. I imagine (and not having a pussy in this race, it’s only conjecture on my part) that as a provider, part of the allure of the online communities is building friendships with others who are in the same position, someone who has walked a mile in your fuck-me shoes. And you know you can trust them, because they know, better than any trick, what it’s like to put yourself on the line like that. Which makes it all the worse when some hooker wannabe stabs you in the eye with a stiletto heel. The worst evil is the one we invite in.

And no, it’s not just crazy unstable hookers. It’s not female trouble. The guys are doing it to each other, too. Under the pretense of camaraderie, more and more hobbyist are looking for ways to screw the other guy. Jealousy rears its ugly head, even when the object of desire is a hooker. How dare she accept money to fuck that other guy? Doesn’t he know I pay to fuck her?

The backlash created by a poseur appropriating the persona of a sex worker has reached a peak of fury. And trust, again plays into it. People trusted her. People now feel that their trust has been betrayed. And now, someone is abusing the trust others placed in them by attempting to use it to terrorize those they feel responsible for the whole sordid affair. That some punter (and yes, I’m fairly certain it’s a guy) is willing to turn to borderline criminal acts to “expose” someone, and how he’s going about it, speaks more to his failings than anything else.

And that right there is one of the worst things we should take away from l’affaire d’jour. Trust is the basis of the hooker/john relationship. I’m trusting she’s not a cop or a rip-off or worse. She’s trusting he’s not gonna rip her off, arrest her, beat and rape her. That trust has been shattered. It’s been trampled by a faux ho, wannabe, lying impersonator. And it’s being further stomped by a small, petty, jealous person who blames others for his shortcomings. Someone who has more money than integrity.

Because if you can worm your way into the inner circles of this community only to use the information you glean from it to extract revenge for your someone having the audacity to point out that you’re a liar, then no one is safe.

This is a fun “hobby” for some. And yes, the essence of it is pleasure. I enjoy the hell out of this. But every one of those escorts I see is a real woman.

I welcome your comments.

Faux Ho

All the glamour, none of the mess.

Richard Glen Strandlof had the nation fooled: He claimed to have been at the Pentagon on 9/11 and to have been injured when his Humvee was blown apart in Iraq, two assertions that helped him become a popular activist for veteran rights. With those claims, Strandlof, who went by the name Rick Duncan, founded the Colorado Veterans Alliance. Sadly, he was nothing but a charlatan.

During the course of setting up the non-profit veteran’s alliance, inconsistencies about “Duncan” started bubbling to the surface. Things just weren’t adding up; his stories of bravery and heroism didn’t ring true to some of the real veterans who had served honorably in Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere. The FBI eventually determined that “Duncan” was a con man and drifter.

Here in Southern California, the FBI is also investigating another military impostor, David Weber, who allegedly misrepresented himself as a retired 2-star Marine General.

Whenever an online discussion turns to matters military, almost without fail you’ll get that variant of the Internet Tough Guy: the Internet Green Beret. He’s the Black Ops Special Forces Soldier of Fortune who knows all about tactics, techniques, and terminology. Without benefit of having ever served.

They seek to shoulder all the glory without having ever shouldered a weapon. They pose as veterans without having faced an enemy.

What does any of this have to do with hookers?

Just recently, the always previously excellent Carnal Nation published an article by Monica Shores, editor and contributor for Spread Magazine where she brings to light the curious phenomena of the faux ho; the posers out there pretending to be super-hot exotic dancers, strippers and hookers.

After all, when you’re angling for that book deal, it’s easier to pretend to be a hooker than to get all dirty and messy blowing real clients.

Worst kept secret

The worst kept secret in the biz seems to be Alexa diCarlo, alleged escort and notorious content thief.

So what? So, some girl (or guy) is pretending to be a high-class hooker, we’re all pretending to be something we’re not, right? Who’s it hurting?

I mean, I like to pretend I don’t weigh 300 pounds and can satisfy a woman.

Stud

I recently wrote about what I believe is another pretender, and how dangerous I think it is for someone to give advice based on a false premise. Sex workers –real sex workers– put their safety on the line every time they go to work. The dangers of the real world are… well, real.

People have known about Alexa for quite some time now. In whispers on private message boards, in snickers about purported gangbangs, in rolled eyes about fake pictures. Alexa has made some outrageous, scandalous claims. And for all her high profile online visibility, she’s decidedly invisible in real life.

Just as the bogus military vet takes time, money, and attention from real heroes, the faux hoes take time, money, attention from the real sex workers. And worse, they put those very real escorts, strippers and massage girls in danger by perpetuating a myth. Unrealistic representations lead to unrealistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations can lead to real physical and emotional damage. A girl who thinks that all she needs to do to screen a potential client is to ask him if he’s a cop is bound to feel the cold steel of handcuffs. An unbalanced client who thinks that all escorts really want to take it up the ass, bareback,  is going to become combative when face to face with a hooker who won’t accede to his demands. And if both of those players are getting their expectations from the same source, it’s no longer a fun game of fantasy. Real people, real lives, real safety are being threatened.

I have my suspicions. I think I know who the real person behind the screen persona is. Maybe I’m right, maybe I’m wrong. I suspect, for one thing, that the person masquerading as a $2000 an hour, former stripper, exotically beautiful escort falls far short of that idealized beauty. The real person portraying an escort at the highest echelons of that profession may really be someone who couldn’t get beyond the lower rungs of the industry ladder. And the affectation of beauty may be nothing more than psychological window dressing to cover up perceived shortcomings. Maybe the “Alexa” project was nothing more than another attempt to cash in on the current pop culture success of the hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold. Hell, hookers and vampires are the “in” thing right now. (Note to self, screenplay idea: Vampire Hookers)

Or it could be some dude, banging out bad erotic fiction in his mom’s basement.

Continue to read the “Real” Princess Diaries. But realize that it’s fiction.

There are real, honest-to-goodness, verifiable sex workers writing and blogging out there. They put themselves and their reputations on the line. Seek those out. And if you’re looking for tawdry advice, whether on how to hire a hooker or how to be a hooker, follow them.