Posts Tagged ‘politics’

Six inches long with a big fat head... no wonder the ladies love him

 

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional

Benjamin Franklin, the original libertine, whoremonger, hobbyist. Franklin is to this day widely quoted, his wisdom on topics ranging from farming and politics to art and literature to sex, and yes, prostitution are often called on to bolster any argument. Among his famous quotes is his advice to a young man on the advantages of romancing older women. The conclusion to his often comical advice (in the dark, all cats are gray) is “…lastly, they are so grateful!”

Escorts come in all shapes and sizes. Blondes, brunets, and redheads. Young and… more experienced.  During my recent shopping spree (thanks Obama!) one of the things I focused in on was looking for escorts often categorized as ‘mature’ or ‘MILF’. Partly because that’s where my preferences lie, partly because I have a short attention span and there are far fewer ads to sort through in those categories and mostly because… something shiny!

Truth is, I prefer the more mature escort over the young bimbo. Look, I’m not saying I have some weird granny fetish. But let’s face it I’m no 20 year old stud myself. What do I mean by ‘more mature’? Old? Sorry, I don’t consider 30 to be ‘old’. Hell, I’m old enough myself that I don’t any longer consider 50 to be ‘old’. And yes, I’ve had some incredible sex with 50+ year olds. Mature is… mature.

I generally don’t favor the younger hookers. I tend to start with somewhere around 30 and work upward. I also recognize that I’m in the minority. The majority of “hobbyists” seem to gravitate to the 19-20-22 age range. The young hardbody fake boobed bimbos. I wonder sometimes if the preference for the more youthful escorts isn’t so much about the beauty of the girl but the insecurities of the client. I saw an old guy in the store today, old around my age. Flirting with a 20-ish cutie, “here let me reach that shelf for you”, “aw, you’re so sweet!” It’s not that he was lusting after her, expecting that a smile and a favor would turn into a smile and a ‘favor’. No, It’s a chance to be looked at as something other than a doddering old fart.

When it comes to escorts, older is better. Face it, whether you like blonde or brown, skinny or fat, big boobs or flat, you’re going to find that physical appeal in any age range. What you won’t find the the girls just a few years (or less) out of school is the confidence, the sense of self that comes with maturity.

Often, I think, younger ladies look at escorting as either an easy way to fast cash, an easy way to fast cash attained by manipulating gullible men or an easy way to fast cash while experimenting and exploring their own sexuality. Hey, I’m all in favor of a girl experimenting, spreading her wings, spreading her… horizons. But turning tricks ain’t the way to do that. I would think that unless you’re already pretty comfortable with who you are as a person and as a sexual being, the constant sex-based bullshit could leave one with a biased, jaundiced view of the world of sex and how they fit into it. Plus, while I want you to explore, I want you to experiment, I want you to expand, I don’t want you to do it on my dime. I don’t see escorts so I can pay for their sexual awakening. If I’m going to shell out $300 $600 $800 for a Girl Friend Experience, I think I have a right to expect an experienced girlfriend.
Go out, have fun, seduce and be seduced. Find out what you like, what you don’t and who you are, then start thinking about doing it as a business.

The Pretty Girl Syndrome

The other thing is a lot of pretty hot young gals know they can get by purely on being pretty, hot and young. Nothing else is required of them and nothing else is offered. I’m not into that. Fuck a girl like that and it quickly becomes apparent that it’s all about her. And while mutual pleasure is a wonderful thing, I am, after all, the client.
I’m not saying I specifically intend selfishness, but neither do I expect it. Yes, I know you’re hot, much hotter than I deserve. Yes, I know you’re gorgeous, much prettier than I could reasonably expect to find in my troll bed under a bridge. Yes I know you’re young and you have a rockin’ hard body with a high, tight ass, remarkably firm, perky tits… wait, what was I saying?

I know, I know, this is a sweeping generalization, and I expect to hear dissent from both “hobbyists” and escorts, but by and large, the 20 year olds can’t hold a candle to the 30 40 50 year olds. And yes, I know, you’re that rare 24 year old who’s mature beyond her years.
Women of any age can be — and are– beautiful, sexy and desirable. But there’s something magical about a strong, mature, self confident woman. A woman whose life experiences have molded her into a sexual force to be reckoned with. A woman who can hold a conversation about art or politics or science or culture while fucking your brains out. That’s a woman who’ll keep me coming and keep me coming back for more.
That is a woman.

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Good deeds.

I like a woman who can treat the globes right

A little bit about me.

It may or may not surprise some of you to know that I have a life beyond this hooker fucking persona. And it may (or may not) surprise you to find out that I’m in the legal profession. Sure, you pretty much can’t throw a stick around here without hitting a lawyer (and getting sued for reckless stick throwing).

Some background. I got my undergraduate degree at a well known top tier university in the southeast, then a Juris Doctor from a prestigious law school on the east coast. I went to work in the office of a state legislator then spent some time working as a criminal prosecutor in a large city on the coast. It was through some of my law school contacts and legislative contacts that I became involved early on in campaigning for Bill Clinton. Back then, a lot of people in the campaign, specially those who knew Bill and Hillary, joked that the wrong Clinton was running.

As a result and reward for my work on the campaign, when Bill Clinton was elected, I was swept along as part of the new ‘youth wave’ hitting Washington, D.C. Of course, “youth” was a relative term, as none of us were really kids. I worked briefly for Bernard Nussbaum in the  office of the White House Counsel, then transitioned over to the Justice Department. Working for the Clinton administration in the DOJ, I was a key part of some very high profile prosecutions.

By the end of Clinton’s first term, I’d had quite enough of Washington, and left the DOJ to come back to Los Angeles. Here, I joined a large firm, and this being L.A. a fair percentage of my clients were movie people. It wasn’t where I intended to end up back when I was an idealistic young law student out to change the world for the better, but I’ve settled into a nice little practice in entertainment law, mostly contracts and negotiations.

Of course, none of that is true*. And if you read just those first four paragraphs –and believed them– and took legal advice from me because you believed them, you would be an idiot. My legal advice isn’t going to keep you out of jail, my legal advice isn’t going to get you out of jail, my legal advice isn’t going to keep you safe in any way. Just because I can create a detailed fiction on the Internet doesn’t mean I can represent you in court. Because I am not a real lawyer**.

You wouldn’t — shouldn’t– take legal advice from Some Guy on the Internet claiming legal know-how without the credentials to back it up.  So why then would you take advice from someone claiming to be an escort, claiming to be a stripper, claiming to be a porn star or activist or sexologist without the credentials — and the credibility– to back up those claims?

We all know, it’s pretty well documented, that there are a lot of fakes out there. Even after all the revelations and recriminations, just a few days ago, once again someone with no verifiable credentials was offering advice on how to successfully increase your escorting business and how to safely hire an escort. Hey, why not? You’ll take legal advice from me, why not take escorting advice from a non-entity?

So, who can you trust?

Just as you’d do your homework when looking to hire an accountant, a doctor or a mechanic, you have to do your homework when looking for advice that’s going to keep you out of jail, keep you from being ripped off, keep you from being assaulted. There is a treasure trove of valuable, reliable information on the hooker/”hobbyist” interaction. There are quite a few sex workers out there who have selflessly given of themselves to make things better for others in the biz. They give of their bodies for their clients; they give of their time, effort and hearts to keep other sex workers safe.

First up, if you’re an escort, a real honest-to-goodness legitimate working escort and you need to know anything about how to operate or improve your business, you need look no further than Amanda Brooks and her Internet Escort’s Handbook. This is the resource on the business of escort work. Amanda Brooks has been out in front of the business side of escorting and offers serious, yet bawdy advice on how to run your sex-oriented small business successfully.

I can’t think of anyone who’s been more on the side of sex workers of all stripes, but specifically hookers than Jenny DeMilo. Jenny seems to go out of her way to make sure dirty girls are safe and treated with respect. Whether it’s offering insight into what it’s like to be a hooker or how to stay safe if you are one, Jenny is the go-to source. On her blog and on various message boards, Jenny offers information on almost any topic imaginable related to sex work. She’s often brash, sometimes vulgar, always informative. Jenny doesn’t suffer fools gladly, but it’s a tough business, not for the frail or easily offended. Jenny DeMilo takes the hits, frequently becoming the target of attacks, and she does it because she really believes in giving back to her community, looking out for her friends and that only armed with knowledge can one overcome a dangerous world. And she’s sexy as hell to boot.

Another powerful advocate for sex workers is the Chicago based Serpent Libertine and her Red Light District. The Red Light District/Chicago website reports on legal issues and sex worker rights advocacy. Armed with a video camera and an incisive sense of what’s right they are on the frontlines of the sex work industry. Serpent Libertine is an invaluable supporter of free speech and sex workers’ legal rights.

How many real live sex workers do you know who recently spoke at Brown University on sex work: culture laws & politics? The only one that comes to mind is Sequoia Redd. Sequoia gives of herself to better the lives of sex workers. In addition to sex worker advocacy, she writes about sexual energy, politics and hiking the Appalachian Trail. That last one isn’t some sort of Republican euphemism, she really hiked the Appalachian Trail.

For sex workers of a different sort — strippers– the inimitable Kat from Portland has your back.  Kat looks out for strippers and more. Like so many others, she realizes the interconnectedness of everyone involved in legal, quasi-legal and downright illegal sex work. Strip clubs may have bouncers, but outside the club all bets are off.

While others only pretend to be sex experts, educators or academics, Jessi Fischer at The Sexademic is the real deal. Anyone on the Internet can hide behind a sassy screen name and claim degrees and titles, but Jessi is out in the open, no obfuscation, no pretense. With a Masters in Sexuality Studies, The Sexademic is a real, by-gosh educator, not just someone trying to bolster false credentials.

There are more, much more, many more. What all of these people have in common is that they are real, they are in the field and they are looking out for you. They are every day taking the hard fought, hard won skills, knowledge and experience of the real world of sex work and laying it out on the line for you, the “hobbyist”, the escort, the newbie just dipping a toe in the dirty waters. Why do they do it? I’m sure if you asked any of them you’d get a variety of reasons. But the bottom line, I think is that they are people who think of others as they think of themselves.

As for me, no I’m not a lawyer**. And maybe I’m not really a Doctor, either. Maybe it’s just an honorary title. No, I’m just a guy who fucks hookers and writes about it on the Internet. Sure, I’ll give you advice on how to find ’em, what to do when you’ve found ’em and how not to get caught while you’re doing it. But if you do or don’t take my advice, no harm, no foul. I don’t know you, you don’t know me, you’re free to take my advice or not and you won’t hurt my feelings either way. Sure, if you don’t take my advice and your wife catches you balls deep in some rented pussy, you’ll earn a big-ass “I told you so” from me. I’ll call you a dumbass. But then again, if you weren’t a dumbass you wouldn’t have done some dumbass thing to get yourself caught. But that’s the extent of it. You’re on your own as far as I’m concerned. But if you’re an escort, stripper, or any other flavor of sex worker, you need to know who you can trust. You need to know because your freedom, your safety,your business and possibly your life may depend on it. Are you going to trust all of that to ‘Some Girl’ with a blog? If you want real information, real advice, real education, look at those links above.

They’re the real deal. Verifiable, reviewed, respected.

* Or is it?

**Or am I?

Sexual Politics

The honey is on the nightstand

When people think of sex and politics these days, they immediately think of Bill and his cigar, Monica under the desk, John and his illegitimate love child or a certain political MILF.

But discussion of politics is often rampant on supposedly sexually oriented hooker message boards, review sites and blogs. Many escorts and other sex workers are politically active. Many “hobbyists” are, too. Although, there does seem to be a divergence of opinion among them along the political spectrum. The more active, the more vocal a sex worker is, whether on her own blog or on a message board, the higher the likelihood she’ll hear some variant of : “you’re just a dumb whore.”

Shut Your Whore Mouth When Men Are Talking.

Seen, not heard

Stupidity runs rampant and unchecked on the message boards. True, the same could be said of most social networking sites and general topic discussion boards. But it really digs itself in on the hooker boards. One certain local board seems to revel in and celebrate their stupidity and willful ignorance. By way of example: Some Girl posted a new thread devoted to passing around the latest e-mail chain letter political attack. You know the type. The kind of thing your mother-in-law forwards to everyone on her e-mail list, origins unknown. Some new outrage about the current politician or party that’s out of favor with the hasn’t-learned-how-to-Google crowd. When my elderly mother used to send me those, at first I’d look up the source, do a quick fact-check, then return it to her with those facts attached. I no longer bother with that. I recognize that, to my mom, it’s the equivalent of passing along a newspaper clipping about the town council or the local Easter egg hunt. It’s the yearly stories about razor blades in Halloween apples. She read it in the paper, so it must be true.  But when someone posting on an Internet message board posts that kind of easily debunked crap, your first thought tends to be: “this is why guys think you’re just a dumb whore.” Look, I know you know how to work the Internet machine. You’re posting on a goddam Internet message board. Thirty seconds worth of fact-checking could have spared you from looking like a stereotype. Fact is, though, there are a metric assload of guys on those boards who are just as stupid, if not more so. “HAR HAR! It’s snowing, that proves there’s no global warming!!1!” But no one calls them stupid whores. No one suggests they shut their stupid whore mouths when the (intelligent) men are talking.

Women — escorts — are routinely marginalized on the so-called escort social networking sites. It’s rare to see women participating in an active debate when it comes to politics or current events. Sure, they can jabber away all damn day and night about how much they love lingerie, or how they love to spend time with “hobbyists.” But the only  positions they’re allowed to talk about are ‘cowgirl vs. doggy’ not ‘Keynesian vs. Randian economics.’

This isn’t, strictly speaking, a Left vs. Right kinda thing, although there do tend to be clearly drawn lines. I used to be astounded that so many “hobbyists” hold extremely socially conservative political views. But seeing them consistently put down escorts, not just for holding opposing views, but for expressing their opinions at all, and the surprise wears off. It’s not surprising that guys who think a woman should keep her mouth shut unless she’s sucking a dick would hold conservative positions.

All of this has a tendency to drive women away from participating on the boards. One local board has seen the participation of the ladies dwindle down to almost nothing. As of this writing, there is one woman left who actively participates in discussions on that board, outside of the usual classified ads and hair flipping flirtation posts. Slowly but surely, outspoken women are dropped from the board. Ironically, the threads that she does participate in are the most widely viewed. Sure, a lot of the discussion tends to veer towards bashing her for her views, but that’s pretty much always the case when politics are discussed on the escort boards. Any opportunity to bash the ho’s is seized upon.

There’s nothing wrong with you holding an opinion that is contrary to mine, specially as it concerns politics. There are certain people I follow — on Twitter, here, message boards and elsewhere– that have diverging opinions on all manner of topics. But every time you open your virtual gob and spew out ignorant, uninformed, downright stupid tripe, you reinforce the stereotype. You make it that much harder for those who do have something valid to opine. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

Silence is golden... duct tape is silver