Posts Tagged ‘buh-bye’

Deja vu.

Here we go again...

I’ve had this conversation before.

As I sit around with my other evil genius pals, planning out how to take over the “hobbyist” world, this scenario plays out over and over again. How to gain access. How to infiltrate. How to get in unnoticed. If, say, one was a reporter, a cop or just someone looking to manipulate the system, how do you get your foot in the door? Most of the escort message boards and online forums have layers of built in security. But as any Bond villain will tell tell you, it’s the simplest plans that work best. And, as any Bond villain also knows, the girl is always the key.

For whatever nefarious purposes, you’re trying to create a Trojan Horse persona to grant you access to the inner circles of the hobbyist/escort community. Well, any guy can call himself a hobbyist, but if you don’t have any well established escorts vouching for you, you’re left out in the cold. The answer then, is obvious. You need a girl. You become a girl.

From the early days of the cyber sex chat rooms, perverts everywhere have known this. The girl is the key. You can pretend to be a brain surgeon astronaut spy all day long, but no one’s gonna bite. But as soon as a girl enters the room, she’s swarmed. You didn’t really think all those hot horny lonely girls online were really hot horny lonely girls, did you?

For the purposes of manipulating the escort forums, how does one ‘become a girl’? First step, set up a website. Make sure to give yourself a sexy name. Pictures will help. You can find those pretty much anywhere. If you’re willing to steal somebody else’s pics, that is. But, hey, you’ve come this far, what do you care about stealing some ho’s content? You join the forums under your sexy new name. Participate a bit, drive traffic to your new website/blog. Make sure to talk — a lot– about how hot horny lonely sexy slutty you are. The sluttier the better. You’ll get lots of interest from the “hobbyists.” That is, after all what they’re there for. Sooner or later, they’ll be clamoring to see you. They can’t, of course, unless y’all are dying to try out some sort of “Crying Game” scenario. But that’s not a problem, because you have no intention of actually seeing anyone.  You’re exclusive. You’re all booked up. You’re much too hot and sexy to see just anyone.  And you certainly aren’t going to lower your standards for them.

The forums are mostly geared to screen out the guys. There are many reasons for the lopsided prejudice. Cops are men, rapists are men, pimps are men. And that last one actually probably has more to do with the increased vigilance of men. The ever-on-alert board mods are looking, not for the potential danger, but for the fake review. Because that’s what matters to them. Remember that. To be fair, a lot of escorts have been known to attempt to create fake “hobbyists” in order to write themselves a glowing review. What no one seems to be on the lookout for, however, is the fake “escort” vouching for… well, “herself.”

Everyone gets splattered

The shit finally hits the fan.

We’ve been going ’round and ’round about this for a while now, haven’t we? For the better part of a year, escorts, strippers, cam girls, models, bloggers, and journalists have been saying “something’s wrong.”
By then, though, the masquerade had become so real to some that every alert raised, every warning shouted, every veil lifted was met with cries of: “you’re just jealous.”
Yeah, jealousy. That’s why wave after wave after wave of real, verifiable sex workers and their advocates were saying “something’s wrong.”
What’s just as telling as who did raise a red flag is who didn’t.
There’s the usual assortment of sycophants, those who invested so much in believing the lie that they couldn’t bear to let go of their own fantasies. There are those who saw the evidence of deception and basically shrugged their shoulders and said “so what?” Then there are those who knew, who were aware that people were being lied to, that someone was manipulating the system, that people were being put in danger… and did nothing. Worse than doing nothing, some of them reveled, delighted in the possibility that harm may befall someone, even if only as collateral damage from the scandal. But that’s to be expected from the sort of community culture that treats women as door prizes.
Make no mistake, people knew. The one thing every villain needs is accomplices, co-conspirators.
But as an evil genius, you’re smart enough to not let your fake girl make the only unforgivable mistake: writing a fake review.
The lip service, the party line, the public policy is that the message/review/social networking forums exist to make everyone safe. The reality is that the only important thing is the valid review. Real women being put at risk barely raises a blip on their radar. Fake reviews on the other hand, that’s a hanging offense, on par only with being an uppity, outspoken female.

I’ve been asked a lot in the last few days about what I knew and when I knew it. Having been one of those who wrote, repeatedly, about the dangers presented by impostors, and having had some access to ‘insider’ sources. I know that there were people in a position to know that a certain online persona was a fake, a faux, a fabrication. But they were more interested in maintaing the fraudulent female than protecting the real ones. Because the presence of the hot horny slutty girl, willing to take on all comers, no matter how fallacious, was more beneficial to to their bottom line than exposing the con. Because if the highest profile, most prolific “whore” in their stable is exposed as a figment of some self-styled eroticist’s fevered imagination, then every other review becomes suspect. If you can’t believe that the girl everyone is vouching for is real, then how can you believe that the girl with only one or two or three reviews is real. Of course, the fake girl has no reviews at all; she can’t, she’s not really out there sucking stranger’s dicks for money. And if she only has one review from one guy –who’s only reviewed ‘her’– then the fantasy falls apart.
Over the course of the past year or so, I’ve written about this one particular deception. I’ve also written about others. As I look at the online escort landscape, I see more and more fakes. In light of the recent revelations, when you see an ‘escort’ with no reviews, no pictures, no website, yet pages and pages and pages of salacious stories of their exceedingly slutty exploits… that no one can verify… maybe everything is not as we are expected to believe. Throw in the overt, obvious, almost desperate attempts to cash in with book, TV or movie deals, then all signs point to “faux.”

No, I don’t know “PatBo”. But I do know that he’s not alone.

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The long tearful farewell.

How can we miss you if you won't go away?

It’s a cliché of every sad, tragic, romantic movie. Tugging at the heartstrings, emotion laid bare.

I… I… just can’t go on. I don’t have it in me to continue. But before I go… tell me how much you’ll miss me.

“Those of you who know me,” they’ll say, “know I don’t do things half-assed.” Who would that be? Who knows you?

It’s becoming more and more common on escort message boards, Twitter and blogs to throw yourself a pity party before you leave. Sometimes it takes days, weeks for someone to leave. And all the while, reveling in the fond remembrances of those who love them… or the voices in their own heads.

It’s like something out of a Garry Marshall movie. “Please don’t go!” “We’ll miss you so!”

You'll miss me, won't you?

Seems like not a week goes by without someone announcing that they’re leaving. No one just leaves. They all have to let you know that they’re leaving and why. And of course you have to give your legions of devoted followers (or sock puppets) ample opportunity to tell you and the world how fabulous you are. “I just don’t have the heart to stand any longer, there will be no more.” However, “I’ll continue seeing my regular clients as long as they wish me to.”

Look, just pull the plug and slink off stage. STFU and GTFO. If ya wanna go, just fuckin’ go. If it takes you a week to craft your thousand word farewell, that’s a whole damn week out of your bright shiny new life wasted.

Boo fuckin' hoo

If it takes a 3 volume novella with 100 comments and a cast of thousands to tell us all about how you have better, more important things to do… well, how ’bout you stop telling us and start doing them. If you have so much free time on your hands that you can come up with seven paragraphs with links and photos about how you’re much too distraught to go on, maybe stepping away from the computer is the best thing for you. Trust me, we’ll find a way to soldier on without you. There are actual hookers out there to fuck.

Don't it just break your heart?

And just so you don’t think I’m being unduly harsh to the dearly departing ladies, let me assure you that guys do this, too. I can’t tell you how many times a ‘hobbyist’ will post all about how he has to leave the board, usually because his wife found out. If only he’d known how not to get caught. Sure, he was stupid enough to get caught, and now he’s going to compound the stupidity by throwing himself a going away party where all the hookers will tell him how much they’ll miss him cuz he was such a great client. Might as well just hand your balls to the divorce lawyers. But they must have their last hurrah. That one last time when they can be the big fish, even if it is in a small local pond. Well, the last time that is, until they come back in a month with a new handle and start all over again.

I have to confess, I was once taken in by the pitiful goodbye. A somewhat well known escort on a previous incarnation of a message board posted that she was leaving, retiring, moving out of town, So long, thanks for all the fish. Like a sucker, I responded. Sorry to see you go, darn the luck, I had hoped to get around to seeing you sometime. Oh well, good luck, good bye. She pounced. Well, she wasn’t gone yet, I could still get in to see her. Why, she’d even give me a discount. Feeling caught, I said yes. She was perfectly fine, a lovely lady, we had a pleasant time. But, really, I probably wouldn’t have seen her if she hadn’t posted that goodbye thread. Since then, she’s moved out of town, moved back, retired, un-retired. And each time with great accompanying fanfare. She’s had more farewell tours than Cher.

It’s remarkably easy to leave. This isn’t the Hotel California. You don’t have to post a thread asking the board admin to delete your account. You don’t have to tell us all about what the future holds. You don’t have to get in that final dig at your detractors. You just have to go.

Buh-bye!