Archive for the ‘prostituion’ Category

Faux Ho

All the glamour, none of the mess.

Richard Glen Strandlof had the nation fooled: He claimed to have been at the Pentagon on 9/11 and to have been injured when his Humvee was blown apart in Iraq, two assertions that helped him become a popular activist for veteran rights. With those claims, Strandlof, who went by the name Rick Duncan, founded the Colorado Veterans Alliance. Sadly, he was nothing but a charlatan.

During the course of setting up the non-profit veteran’s alliance, inconsistencies about “Duncan” started bubbling to the surface. Things just weren’t adding up; his stories of bravery and heroism didn’t ring true to some of the real veterans who had served honorably in Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere. The FBI eventually determined that “Duncan” was a con man and drifter.

Here in Southern California, the FBI is also investigating another military impostor, David Weber, who allegedly misrepresented himself as a retired 2-star Marine General.

Whenever an online discussion turns to matters military, almost without fail you’ll get that variant of the Internet Tough Guy: the Internet Green Beret. He’s the Black Ops Special Forces Soldier of Fortune who knows all about tactics, techniques, and terminology. Without benefit of having ever served.

They seek to shoulder all the glory without having ever shouldered a weapon. They pose as veterans without having faced an enemy.

What does any of this have to do with hookers?

Just recently, the always previously excellent Carnal Nation published an article by Monica Shores, editor and contributor for Spread Magazine where she brings to light the curious phenomena of the faux ho; the posers out there pretending to be super-hot exotic dancers, strippers and hookers.

After all, when you’re angling for that book deal, it’s easier to pretend to be a hooker than to get all dirty and messy blowing real clients.

Worst kept secret

The worst kept secret in the biz seems to be Alexa diCarlo, alleged escort and notorious content thief.

So what? So, some girl (or guy) is pretending to be a high-class hooker, we’re all pretending to be something we’re not, right? Who’s it hurting?

I mean, I like to pretend I don’t weigh 300 pounds and can satisfy a woman.


I recently wrote about what I believe is another pretender, and how dangerous I think it is for someone to give advice based on a false premise. Sex workers –real sex workers– put their safety on the line every time they go to work. The dangers of the real world are… well, real.

People have known about Alexa for quite some time now. In whispers on private message boards, in snickers about purported gangbangs, in rolled eyes about fake pictures. Alexa has made some outrageous, scandalous claims. And for all her high profile online visibility, she’s decidedly invisible in real life.

Just as the bogus military vet takes time, money, and attention from real heroes, the faux hoes take time, money, attention from the real sex workers. And worse, they put those very real escorts, strippers and massage girls in danger by perpetuating a myth. Unrealistic representations lead to unrealistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations can lead to real physical and emotional damage. A girl who thinks that all she needs to do to screen a potential client is to ask him if he’s a cop is bound to feel the cold steel of handcuffs. An unbalanced client who thinks that all escorts really want to take it up the ass, bareback,  is going to become combative when face to face with a hooker who won’t accede to his demands. And if both of those players are getting their expectations from the same source, it’s no longer a fun game of fantasy. Real people, real lives, real safety are being threatened.

I have my suspicions. I think I know who the real person behind the screen persona is. Maybe I’m right, maybe I’m wrong. I suspect, for one thing, that the person masquerading as a $2000 an hour, former stripper, exotically beautiful escort falls far short of that idealized beauty. The real person portraying an escort at the highest echelons of that profession may really be someone who couldn’t get beyond the lower rungs of the industry ladder. And the affectation of beauty may be nothing more than psychological window dressing to cover up perceived shortcomings. Maybe the “Alexa” project was nothing more than another attempt to cash in on the current pop culture success of the hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold. Hell, hookers and vampires are the “in” thing right now. (Note to self, screenplay idea: Vampire Hookers)

Or it could be some dude, banging out bad erotic fiction in his mom’s basement.

Continue to read the “Real” Princess Diaries. But realize that it’s fiction.

There are real, honest-to-goodness, verifiable sex workers writing and blogging out there. They put themselves and their reputations on the line. Seek those out. And if you’re looking for tawdry advice, whether on how to hire a hooker or how to be a hooker, follow them.

The Pretenders

Posted: December 19, 2009 in escort, Escorts, GFE, hookers, prostituion, sex work
Tags: , ,

You can be anything you want on the internets

Don’t Get Me Wrong.

I recently came across a posting in the local CraigsList “adult” section. Something to the effect of “if you’re thinking about becoming an escort, read this.”

Well, this oughta be good. I was redirected to Some Chick’s blog, her life as an escort. She lived the life and now she’s gonna altruistically tell you, the aspiring ho, all the pitfalls that she learned to navigate in her many years walking the mean streets as a paid companion.

First up: 10 things to know about escort agencies.

Now red flags are popping up all over the place. It’s pretty obvious this ‘chick’ has been watching too much TV.

Just another day at the office.

Yeah, right. Right off the bat, at least 6 of those 10 tips are blatantly wrong, the rest could be guesswork.

Look, escort agencies aren’t like they’re portrayed on TV. It’s not like some sort of cross between a high class modeling agency and a sexy slumber party.

So, now I’m thinking, “Isabella” is full of shit. If she’s so wrong about this, what else is she wrong about? Pretty much everything. But the worst seems to be her advice, to both hookers and johns about screening. This is obviously someone who has never screened a prospective client. At best, this is some punter posing as a reformed, retired hooker (she gave it up for love, of course) and his only screening experience has been with low-rent CL girls asking only basic information.

This is dangerous. Bad screening gets real girls arrested, injured or worse.

Fake hookers are popping up all over the internets. In an excellent article, Carnal Nation details the rise of the faux ho, and how it impacts the perceptions of the sex industry. Well researched and with input from REAL working girls.

So, “Isabella”, I ain’t buyin’ what you’re sellin’.

Since the success of the “Belle deJour” blog/book/TV show, everybody wants to cash in on being an online ho. There’s lots of real ones out there, with great, funny, sexy interesting real stories to tell. It’s easy to spot the fakes.

Not a GFE

It’s that time of year!

XXXmas special

There’s a nip in the air, everyone’s feeling extra festive.

It’s the time of the year when hookers start posting pictures of themselves in Santa hats.

I understand, I get it. I guess it’s supposed to make them look fun and whimsical. But it just really kinda underscores the fact that you’re looking to pay a hooker to fuck you on Xmas.

If you scour the internets, (like I do) you’re likely to find more than a few examples. Hey, who doesn’t like a happy holiday humjob?

I guess what it really comes down to is that advertising staple, the year-end clearance sale. Girls gotta eat, and hookers have families to buy Xmas presents for, too.

And it’s not all Santa hats and candy canes. There’s the ol’ reliable “All I want for Christmas is peace on earth… and to offer you $50 off on a multi-hour session if you book now” message board post.

I got a rock

Every naughty elf picture, every “what do you want for Xmas” message board post, every stocking-stuffer special has one intended end result: the booking. Because the answer to “what do you guys want for Xmas?” is always supposed to be “YOU!”

Ho ho, Ho

And regular as clockwork, the “hobbyists” fall for it. Every time. Can’t blame a girl for tryin’. And they try hard this time of year.

Let’s face it, money’s tight, unemployment is up, competition is stiff and the economy sucks harder than a full price GFE.

And the only guys who will actually book anything during this time of year are the sad sacks who don’t have wives, girlfriends, families or friends to spend the Happy Holidays with. And those guys generally don’t have a lot of disposable income to spend on a hooker.

How much for the penguin?

The electronic ho-stroll doesn’t close down for the holidays. I guess, in the grand scheme of things, a few festive Santa hats ain’t all that bad. I guess it’s better than the menorah shaped bra.

Hookers in the News

Posted: December 16, 2009 in hookers, prostituion, sex work
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Who ordered the cake?

The Sting.

It must have seemed like a pretty straightforward gig.

A bachelor party. One last debauched send-off for the groom-to-be.

It turned out to be a prostitution sting. Arrested by Harris County (Texas) Sheriffs were 5 women and 3 men, charged with various prostitution related offenses. They invited people suspected of being involved in prostitution and urged them to bring young women to the party who would sell sexual favors. They also contacted women through mainstream Internet sites and invited them to the gathering to prostitute themselves.

I wonder how that went. “Hi, welcome to my bachelor party. Would you care to prostitute yourself?”

Kudos, Harris County Sheriff. Excellent use of what must be, in these recessionary times, a severely stretched municipal budget.

I usually have to pay extra for that

I feel safer already.

Oh, and if you were wondering what to expect next time you plan a bachelor party in Houston…                                                                                                                                 check out the local talent.