Pro-tip: Google the Twitter…er

Posted: March 14, 2011 in Escorts

You’re a what?

Really? You're a hot, horny chick?


I have a small presence on Twitter. Nowhere near Charlie Sheen levels. And every now and then I get a new follower, usually based on Twitter’s automated “Who To Follow” suggestions, or based on mutual followers/followees. Great! Thanks and welcome aboard!

Now, here’s the thing: I’m a cynical guy. Whether looking for a mechanic or a hooker, I tend to do some basic homework. When looking for an escort, I’ll check her ads, her website, her reviews. Is she legit? Is she who (and what) she says she is?

So why wouldn’t I be expected to do the same with new Twitter-ers? Seems that not a week goes by that I don’t get some new “hooker/cam/girl/porn star or just garden variety hot horny chick popping up in my Twitter stream. First thing I do, being the cynical, suspicious guy I am, is check out what she has to offer. What’s on her (or let’s be fair, his) Twitter stream? What kinds of things are they saying on a daily basis? If all you get is “I’m available now” every ten minutes, if it’s nothing but non-stop ad copy, I’ll give it a pass. I’m frankly more interested in people who are interesting and have interesting things to say. Interesting. Which is why I fully understand why I don’t have a Sheen-level following. Not everyone will find me interesting. But that’s also why my Twitter isn’t filled with constant stories of the latest hooker I banged or pictures of tits and ass. I try to throw in things that you might find more interesting.

However, if she says she’s a porn star or cam girl, does she have links to her porn and cam sites? Hey, I like looking at hot naked chicks as much as anyone else. If she says she’s an escort, let’s check out her brochure site. What market is she in? What do her pics look like? What are her rates? Are there reviews? No? That doesn’t exactly scream ‘legit’, does it? So, you’re a high priced escort with naughty things to say, but no one’s ever seen you and you don’t have reviews or real photos? I’ve seen this story before.

Oh, you’re a hot horny student who just wants sex sex sex all the time because you’re so naughty and hot and horny, and you’re an aspiring porn star because you’re so hot and horny, and by the way, send me naked pictures so I can see how hot and horny you are! Yeah, what is this an AOL chat room? C’mon, really? Look, you want to go around pretending to be a hot chick on the Internet? Fine. You like looking at naughty pics? Fine. But, and I’m sure this is no real heartbreak to anyone, I won’t be following your faux ho antics.

No one wants a re-run of that mess.

  1. Kelly says:

    Too funny. I once had a city commissioner from my hometown following nobody but eight politicians, including Obama, and me. I even emailed him to say, I am curious, considering the eight other people that you follow, why are you following me? I almost want to call him…

    • Some Guy says:

      I can understand why he would be following you, I just don’t understand why he’d want everyone to know about it! 😉
      Do they think people can’t see that?