Guys talk. And sometimes, they talk to me. Why, I don’t know. I guess I just have that pervy kinda face.
At work the other day, just out of the blue, one of the guys starts talking about golden showers. OK, it’s a guy thing, I get it. Just trying to gross out the other guys. Most days, somebody would say “eeewww, that’s nasty!” Everyone would have a laugh and go back to their own cubicles. This day though, he carries the story a bit further. “I knew a girl once,” yeah, sure ya did…
“I knew a girl once, she told me she made a lot of money giving guys golden showers.” Now I’m wondering where he’s going with this. “She said she never had sex with ’em, guys would pay her to piss on ’em!” Why imagine that.
Next guy ups the stakes with a story about how his buddies took him to a whorehouse for his 18th birthday, Here he is, young and naive, having a drink at the bar at the Ranch. And since we’re now in a full fledged game of one-ups, the stranger at the bar next to him (in his story) sidles up and says “you ever have a girl shit on you?” Cuz a good hooker story just ain’t enough, it has to be a good gross hooker story.
I’ve come to realize that most guys have a hooker story to tell. It’s ubiquitous. It’s a rite of passage. Sooner or later, every guy (it seems) fucks a hooker. That time you got really drunk, that time you scored the winning goal, that time you fucked that hooker. War stories.
Teenage boys, celebrating a birthday by fucking a hooker. Money was pooled together, group discount rates. Mattresses were set up in the employee break room after store hours. The birthday boy gets the first ride. His buddies are in the boss’ office next door, and boys will be boys, they’ve set up a mirror in the ceiling panels so they can watch the action in the next room. Birthday boy has found his way in and established a rhythm, but being a novice fucker it won’t take him long. His pumping pace picks up, the train is pulling into the station… and the boys in the next room break out into a loud chorus of Happy Birthday.
Every guy has a hooker story.