Apparently, I’m huge

Posted: January 8, 2010 in blowjob, cock, escort, escort review, GFE, Hobbyist, hookers, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

I’ve got a huge cock.

Always play safe

Every hooker I’ve ever been with tells me so. From streetwalkers to high-priced GFEs, every one of ’em tells me I’ve got a huge cock.

A lot of guys involved in the “hobby” (hobby? are you guys collecting stamps along with bangin’ hookers?) spend a lot of time writing reviews. There are complex ratings systems. Did she have real or fake boobs? Plus 2. Was she on time? Plus 1. Adams apple? Plus 2… no, wait, minus 2… whatever.

For my money, the best ratings are always gonna be based on how big my dick is. If I walk out of that hotel room thinking “Man! I have got a HUGE cock!”, then she did her job. If I walk away thinking “that was a good blowjob, but it couldn’t have been that difficult for her to deepthroat this gherkin” then there was a breakdown in communication. Look, anyone can get you off. It takes someone really fuckin’ good at her job to make you think you’re the biggest stud in town.

And sure, I know she says that to all the guys. But she really means it with me.

You asked for it

I was reminded of this today, swimming through the deep blue waters of one of the local message boards. There’s the ever-present thread about what constitutes a true “GFE.” One of a series of posts and polls that gets trotted out periodically. What does “GFE” mean to you? Probably the only topic more discussed is “shaved or trimmed?” And so often, as in this particular thread, it’s usually intended as nothing more than a look-at-me type of conversation starter. If a gal can get the guys talking about the definitions of “GFE” then that gives her an opening to let them know that she offers exactly the GFE they’re looking for. If she can present it as an opinion poll, it’s not really an ad, is it?

There will never be a comprehensive definition of GFE that everyone agrees on. Not if you’re trying to pin it down based on sex acts. No two guys are gonna like the same thing the same way. Slow, fast, on top, from behind.

But pretty much every guy wants to think he’s got a huge cock. I know I do.

Then again, I don’t have to worry.

I’m huge.

  1. Bitch says:

    I suspect that if a smart guy like you (or any of the intellectually gifted hobby “community”) honestly wanted to know if his dick was huge, he’d just sit around the virtual locker room measuring it with all the other studs, as opposed to taking the word of a bunch of lying whores. Buy a ruler and give us an update, wouldya dear?